


Why are you still here?

by OrionAkatsuki, Turner



Series: Nyctalopia [2]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Collab, Drabble, F/F, Monologue, Sort of AU, dark oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 08:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11309466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionAkatsuki/pseuds/OrionAkatsuki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turner/pseuds/Turner
Summary: A one shot with a bit of a darker story. It's just a monologue from Sara Ryder, Suvi and Lexi are only mentioned.





	Why are you still here?

**Author's Note:**

> I was skeptical about writing together with someone at first, but writing with Orion turned out to be fun! I would be interested in doing more collabs, so feel free to contact me on the ME Amino, my name there is 'Pathfinder TurnerXO' (For the people who knew me from my old account, but haven't yet found me or recieved a message from me, it got removed so find me on the new one) Again, thanks to Orion for writing this with me. You're the best! Enough notes, enjoy reading!

I targeted you. The traits of decency, empathy and honesty were like a sirens call to me. Now I would turn a good person into a wreck.

I had blood on my hands of many beings, some deserving, others perhaps not. I didn't care what people thought about me. I never thought about them at all anyways.

I dragged you in the face of danger. I dragged you infront of your worst fears. I let them stop my heart from beating, not worrying for a second what your reaction would be. I used you when I was bored, or simply frustrated. I ended lives right infront of you.

I told you about my darkest secrets: How I killed my first man. How I washed the blood off of my hands. How my family name saved me from getting in trouble. How the only reason I am even here is that family name.

It's an odd thought. Where were you born? Who are your parents? For one person those are simple questions, for me it was a gateway to becoming a part of the elite. My name is what made me who I am. It gave me all this immunity, these powers. I'd say you would be insane if you didn't use them.

People despised me, and now I was their only hope. It's quite ironic, isn't it?

They used to call me a spider. 'Because spiders are emotionless. Their hearts do not beat.' They would say. But I know the truth. A spider never feels more alive than the moment before a kill.

I toyed with you, I bent you every way possible, I hurt you. So why are you still here?

I am about to run into the hardest challenge of my life. Defeating the enemy who stands between me and my goals.

I came here because I was bored, because I liked having authority, but now I am here to save the day. It's quite ironic, isn't it?

They would call me a sociopath. Lexi would assure me everything is fine, but she isn't the only one who can read people. I know that she hasn't reported me just because I am the pathfinder.

You knew. You're no blind fool, you knew all along. So why are you still here?

Then one day you asked me to settle down with you, when all this shit would be over. You asked me to give you a home to stay strong for.

I was a one night stand kind of girl. I would get bored of people easily, they all had quirks that would sooner or later irritate me. But to you, I said yes. It's quite ironic, isn't it?

They would call me a manipulative bitch. They would scold me for the hurt I inflicted upon them. But they never realised I had my own pain, my own insecurity. They never realised I had deep down inside grown a feeling of remorse over the years.

But you did. You were there for me when I needed you, and I barely have anything to give you in return. I love you, which is why I will ask you once more.

Why are you still here, Suvi?

**Author's Note:**

> Who spotted the Overwatch reference? (We gave it a small spin ofcourse)


End file.
